Dear Naked Dancing Llama:
Hello. My name is Dana and I am a postal worker in Augusta, Maine. I have been having very disturbing thoughts lately and may go over the edge in regards to other postal workers. ie. I may kill them all. Is there anything I can do to curb my urges?
Sincerely, On Edge in Maine
Via Llama translator On edge:
It sounds like you are under too much stress. Instead of killing your fellow workers, you may want to find a relaxing stress releaving hobby. For me, I find licking blocks of salt and scratching my butt against a wall work very well. But to each their own.
Sincerely,
NDL
Dear Naked Dancing Llama:
I am a student at the University of California, San Diego. I think I need some of your llama advice. I have been wandering from major to major for years now, and I'm afraid of never finding out what I truly want to do with my life. My girlfriend left me cause I have been so depressed lately. Any ideas?
Sincerely,
Frustrated on the Bay
Via llama translator: Dear Frustrated: I went through this phase too. When I was about 3, I couldn't decide which was my favorite kind of peanut. The Grand Master Llama approached me and said, close your eyes and sniff. So I did. And I smelled the macadamia nuts. And so then I just knew. So my advice to you is close your eyes and sniff. And if it smells good, there you go.
Sincerely,
NDL
DearNaked Whatever,
What the hell is this? What the hell is a naked dancing llama?
Bill
Via llama translator:
Dear Bill:
This is a question and answer column. I am a naked dancing llama.
Sincerely,
NDL
NDLthingy:
If a train leaves Sescatuan going 213 miles per hour and another train leaves Freeport going 150 miles an hour in the opposite direction, where will they meat if the sun is in the seventh house?
Cherly
Dear Cherly:
Llamas can't count.
Love,
NDL
Dear naked Dancing llama:
Are you a boy or a girl llama?
Frank
Dear Frank:
Um...well..I used to be a boy llama. We will leave it at that.
NDL
Dear Naked Dancing Llama:
I don't get it. Why would I want to bring my problems to a llama?
Ralph
Dear Ralph:
I am cheaper than psychotherapy and I also lick people's faces.
NDL