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Welcome to the Nakedbox, where NDL answers your most vexing questions.
8/03 --> The Nakedbox is being repaired at the moment as we have just moved to a new server.
In the mean time, check out some older NDL advice!
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| Q: | How will Jenny and get along? |
| A: | Jenny and get along just fine. NDL |
| Q: | why? what? when? and where? |
| A: | Why? Because it leads to an inner llama-like peace. What? Frolicking. When? All the time. Where? Anywhere and everywhere. Now, all you need is how. :) NDL |
| Q: | where does one aquire a danceing naked llama or cebu actually i just wanted to know how to kill my parents and get away with it |
| A: | Not funny -- not funny at all. NDL |
| Q: | Is it just me or does every grown man wear a diaper and run around the block during winter screaming \"FRANCE STINKS\"...please tell me if I am alone in the universe oh wise and learned one. |
| A: | This happens too often. If only they realized the odor was coming from the diaper, not France. NDL |
| Q: | Now i know you say not to frolic in wet places... but i find it much more fun. Am i just weird or is it good to let out a little strange way of frolic |
| A: | Just don't slip and fall, or get yourself into deep trouble! NDL |
| Q: | Why does Jonah know nothing? |
| A: | He reached a Zen-like nirvana while inside the whale. NDL |
| Q: | how long will i stay w/ my boyfriend |
| A: | Until you marry him, or get deathly sick of him. NDL |
| Q: | i got called mentally insane because i think of you as a god o gr8 1, and take ur advice very seriously. i think life would be meaningless without you. please help me, evryone is called me retarded becuase i worship you! what is wrong wit me? |
| A: | I suggest frolicking by example rather than worshipping me. Worshipping anything can get really unhealthy, and cause world wars. NDL |
| Q: | Why do people ridicule my car? |
| A: | Lack of other things to pick on you about. NDL |
| Q: | Should I ask the girl I love to marry me? Or wait? |
| A: | No time like the present. NDL |
| Q: | should we have a big fight with Rhiannon? |
| A: | No, better to play the Fleetwood Mac song at her over and over. NDL |
| Q: | o great 1...i thought you loved me. ME I TELL U! MEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!and yet you frolic in parks with other llamas...its disgusting. i thought someone as great as you could at least stay true to a fellow frolicer?you told me you loved me...only me...and AHH ITS ALL SO TRAGIC |
| A: | I stay true to all frolickers, but that's a lot of people to please. Frolic by example, and you will find people will want to frolic with you all over the place. I bet you'll find at least one you like. NDL |
| Q: | i just happend to notice that our birtdays are only 1 day apart i was wondering if we could have a birthday party together and if so what kind of cake and ice cream |
| A: | Macadamia nut cake and macadamia nut ice cream. (See a pattern?) NDL |
| Q: | hello agin, I was just wandering if it was normal to be attracted to turtles. and my second question is should I go on a date with a llama that I like even though I am dating a turtle? and also where exactly is the best place to frolice? -BRAD |
| A: | Frolice? Sounds like a horrible fur disease. I'm too repulsed to answer the rest of your question. NDL |
| Q: | besides a ball what will i bowl tomorrow? -kurt |
| A: | Above 100, below 150. NDL |
| Q: | Why are there so many people starving in the world |
| A: | Well, when was the last time you gave to charity? NDL |
| Q: | if you had to pick between frolicking off the top of Mt. Everest or wearing clothes which would you choose? |
| A: | Frolicking off the top of Mount Everest..in a hang glider. NDL |
| Q: | DO u and the dalli llama ever chill? |
| A: | Only at the highest mountain tops. NDL |
| Q: | Dear NDL, FIrst I would like to thank you for your seemingly futile attempt to thwart the habits of poor spellers and the otherwise grammatically challenged through less than subtle sarcasm. (Having said that, I\'m positive I will end up spelling something incorrectly in this posting!) So on to the point: I am a great fan of all that is llama like. I come from an area of farms, so there are many llamas nearby, with whom I like to \"gallumph\" (An activity that cannot be alone, must be done in a wooded area (cause dodging branches is fun) and is very similar to frolicing, only faster and done while yelling \"gallumph\" (pronounced gull-umm-p). I was wondering how if you have ever gallumphed and writing to suggest it if you haven\'t. |
| A: | HI! Yes I have gallumphed, but I prefer frolicking. You may gallumph however, because we live in this wonderful free country where all can do as they please. NDL |
| Q: | My friend and I enjoy putting socks on our hands and underwear on our heads. Do you? |
| A: | No, because then I wouldn't be naked. NDL |
| Q: | why did kamikazis wear helmets? |
| A: | Same reason they wore clean underwear. Because their moms told them to. NDL |
| Q: | ok i may be a loser but whos frank zappa? |
| A: | Frank zappa is a talented rock musician who is now dead. Check out his best CD, Joe's Garage, for more information. You can get it at CDNow.com or elsewhere. NDL |
| Q: | Can I brush your pretty Llama fur? And will you marry my freind Joe? |
| A: | 1. Sure but be gentle. 2. No, I must stay single and naked in the spiritual sense. NDL |
| Q: | Should I tell Jamie I like him? |
| A: | Nah. Skip to asking him out. NDL |
| Q: | I hate to correct you NDL, but Hellen Keller had a home. (unlike me , i live in a box) It is Ivey Green located in Tuscumbia, Alabama. Unfortunately my parents drug me there. Well, anyway my question is do you have any diciples like in the bible, and if so do they dance? |
| A: | That's true..but she no longer lives there, does she? So she wouldn't hear a tree if she was there? She'd be dead. It's still irrelivant. NDL PS. Many of my fans dance, but rarely like in the Bible. That was a long time ago. |
| Q: | I have a friend who I\'ve known since kindergarten and for awhile we\'ve been in a fight. I was made at her for bragging so much and being so rude. We\'re friends again now but she just won\'t stop being so stuck up. I don\'t want to not be friends with her because of all the memories we\'ve had together and because we have so much in common, but I just can\'t stand her!!!! |
| A: | There comes a time in a friendship where you look at your friend and say "my god I am sick of you." Maybe the time apart will help you both learn and grow, and then you will be able to be friends again. In the mean time, try to be honest without being mean. It's a learned art. NDL |
| Q: | my husband patch is flirting with a nother female lama in lama land chat and has told her he would meet here but hasnt yet is this a good sign. if you want her name ill tell you in another e mail |
| A: | You shouldn't be asking me. You should be confronting him, adultry is not a healthy thing to sit by and watch. NDL |
| Q: | Who\'s going tocome 1st,2nd and 3rd in the 2:15 at Newmarket on Thursday. |
| A: | Horses. NDL |
| Q: | When will I finish my novel? How do I finish it? whats the solution to the plothole in chapter 13? |
| A: | 1. You will finish your novel when you finish contemplating your novel. 2. A horrific blimp accident. Oh the humanity! NDL |
| Q: | Do you like to smell cheese? |
| A: | Fresh cheese, yes. NDL |
| Q: | Oh wise llama. I somehow stummbled onto your site, and was amazed at the entire llama culture. But as this seems to be a humerous area, ill get to the point and stop wasting your frolicking time. Me and *Katie* have gone out a lil over a month, and we have \"frolicked\" hint hint, wink wink. very much in that period. While im a male of the human race, i kinda feel bad much much later. Yes, frolicking is good, but i feel the more we frolic, the more we are trying to turn the odds against us (pregnancy?). Its a confusing situation. Me and her have gone out before, and only now have accepted this responsibility, and both are in love... Ohhh....another question: Is it possible to really love a girl and STILL flirt like theres no tomorrow? Ok, ill best be off. ~Moadeeb~ |
| A: | Moadeeb Pregnancy, as mentioned earlier, is a serious consequence. What I want you to do, is to put yourself into your unborn llamas shoes and ask yourself: how can I provide the best life for this person? Flirting is natural. Acting on flirting..that's what you have to control. NDL |
| Q: | Oh mighty wise one, why do hotdogs come in packages of 10, and hotdog buns come in packages of 8? |
| A: | To increase sales. NDL |
| Q: | hi .......i was just wondering how old is the person who ansewrs this stuff |
| A: | A person does not answer this stuff; a llama does. NDL |
| Q: | why does averyone hate me and give me dirty looks? and stair at my turban? Why can\'t i spell? I hait the world? Why does evrryone kick me in the shins? why do girls start laughing when i asked the simple question Will you go out with me? loser2k2 |
| A: | People can be very mean. Again I would suggest joining a service organization, and people in those are typically nicer than people who get off on insulting others. NDL |
| Q: | i have 2 questions 1)how can i keep my neighbor\'s cat from climbing up my shorts and trying to steal my keys from the inside of my pants? 2) why do i have bad luck with animals , imean first a girraffe then a badger now a cat , i mean come on!! what\'s the deal. my friend (who happens to be a squirrel) told me some people have a natural affinity for animals. but if that was true they wouldn\'t be out to ruin my day! i need help -o yes one more - are you wearing a diaper, i am. - scrawnyFONDL |
| A: | 1. Make a copy of your keys for him. 2. I think the animals love you they just like to joke around with you. We always pick on the ones we like the most. NDL |
| Q: | I have multiple questions: Do you find that after reading off a green page for several dozen minutes that everything else seems to look pink? Or do Llamas see in colour? Please don\'t redirect me to the Llama network or something. Of course, you may, see things which other llamas don\'t, having been trained by the great Llama. Also, assuming I want an economic, high power computer, would it be wise to buy an AMD Athlon running at 1.33Ghz on a GA7ZX-E motherboard, if I already have a Maxtor 20 Gig harddrive, a 300 Watt power-supply and 256 MB SDRAM? Do you ever listen to Wierd Al Yankovich? And would you say hi to Kelly? I think she believes you were the stunt-double in \"The Emporer\'s New Groove.\" Thanks, will keep in touch, frolic hard! -CB from BC |
| A: | 1. Yes. I like pink, and peach puff, but medium aqua marine won the net-safe color pallate wars for my site. I see in color, and can't vouch for other llamas. 2. You didn't say what your current CPU is and runs at. 3. Weird Al and I have frolicked together many times. 4. HI KELLY! No I was not in that movie. I had to stay away from the evil David Spade. 5. You frolic too! NDL |
| Q: | how do i get people to stop lying to me and just tell me the truth? |
| A: | Move to another planet. Seriously, try getting new friends who are more honest. People in service organizations tend to be honest, since they are giving, and honesty and being giving go hand in hand. NDL |
| Q: | HI LLAMA! i love you dearly. my question is if i hit Angus Young from ac/dc with a cheese wheel will he introduce me to Ozzy Osbourne and Frank Zappa, even if Frank is dead?- Cheese Wheel Lover |
| A: | I think Frank is too dead for that! The only thing that could possibly bring him back is Britney Spears dancing on his grave, and I don't know if there's enough money out there for that. NDL |
| Q: | Should I pursue to become a famous actress? |
| A: | Yes! Try modelling. It builds a portfolio. It worked for Uma Therman. NDL |
| Q: | I have a boyfriend named Morgan and he doesn\'t think we\'re going out, but we are. How can I prove that we are? |
| A: | Kiss him. NDL |
| Q: | What color does a smurf feel when he is sad? Peole feel blue, but a smurf is already blue... |
| A: | According to the Hanna Barbara color pallate, they actually turn DARK blue. NDL |
| Q: | If I brought my lawn gnome named Ozzzy to Frank Zappa\'s grave, would he come back to life? |
| A: | I think he's too dead for that to work. NDL |
| Q: | What is the meaning of life? And why does cheese taste like chicken? |
| A: | 1. To frolic like a llama. 2. BAD CHEESE NDL |
| Q: | Will Kev marry someone from CA? |
| A: | If someone from CA says 'yes' to his marriage proposal. NDL |
| Q: | I wish to start a \"rent a llama\" company, with such options as SUL\'s(Sports utility llamas). They would be at reasonible prices and would have costomer friendly employies and lovely llamas(most importantly). Do you think the whole thing is a good idea? would it work? -Colleen |
| A: | I cannot advocate a service that treats llamas like objects. Unless you want me to pose for pictures. NDL |
| Q: | Why are they called fingers if they don\'t fing? And how do I finish a 2,000+ word essay in less than a week? |
| A: | "fingers" is just shorthand for "Fallanges". Finishing that essay will require chatting on internet chat until your typing rate increases. Then you will be able to type your essay in a night. NDL |
| Q: | though i do support your campain for president if i where to vote for you it would be nice to know what you would do as president. ps if The Emperors New Groove is my favorite movie does that make me evil or mean i\'m being possed by either satan or one of his demons |
| A: | It just means that you were coerced by the evil David Spade and his minions...there is always some truth in things that are wrong and evil else no one would like them...just shrug it off as a lesson learned. Also, campaign details from past elections will return at the end of the month. NDL |
| Q: | does brandon like me? |
| A: | Occasionally. NDL |
| Q: | will my stalking of jd be successful? |
| A: | If you call rotting in prison successful... NDL |
| Q: | ok this gonna be a long one theres two main girls 1 ive only just met shes really really brilliant,but lives absloutly miles away as in 9 hours by train, we share loads in common and stuff girl 2 the Ex ok shes an Ex so every1 decides shes outa the question but shes coming crawling back absloutly begging for figivness and promises she loves me and wants me back. Which one? Why im asking questions Whats the question? i know the answer to the meaning of life is 42 but whats the question?? |
| A: | 1) Frolicking off a cliff is no way to frolic..find someone who will jump with you and you can be each other's parachutes. 2. Douglas Adams was very cool but misguided. The true answer is "to frolic like a llama." NDL |
| Q: | Dear NDL, Why did the chicken cross the road exactally? Was he just curious? Was there some other really hot chicken over there? To get to the other side just doesn\'t make any sense! |
| A: | You are reading too much into it. Like William Shatner in Star Trek 5, whose explained to Spock he climbed a mountain "because it was there", the chicken crossed the road likely for a very similar reason. NDL |
| Q: | do llamas like chocolate biscuits? |
| A: | It's interesting you should ask this, as I was recently asked if llamas like eclairs. The answer is, most llamas don't, but I have a robust digestive system that can handle them. So you can send me some if you want. NDL |
| Q: | hello NDL. i also live in wisconsin, where in this state do u come from? i think my boyfriend might dump me, and i seriously know i canot live without him, what, if anything can i do? thanx, -Myranda |
| A: | I live in Madison, and before that I lived in Waukesha. (Have fun saying that, out-of-state frolickers). WALK-ESH-SHAW. But my original place of birth is a mystery... Myranda - Learn to release the frolic from WITHIN and not from WITHOUT. In that way, you will be able to frolic without him. NDL |
| Q: | Dear NDL, My best friend and I have been obsesed with llamas and moose. In fact,it is integrated into our daily vocabulary. We are happy to know there are other macadamia eating llamas out here. Join us in the Supreme Moose Corp. =0) |
| A: | Thank you, but this page takes up all my time at the moment. NDL |
| Q: | Oh-Great-Holy-Naked-Dancing-Llama: My friend knows that the guy I\'m seeing right now is the one I really truly care about but she INSISTS on trying to get me hooked up with her friend Brian. I think Brian is funny and sweet but I\'m in a relationship and I don\'t know what to do about it. What should I do? I really need help. By the way, Llamas are my favorite animal. This is also my favorite site! Your llama friend, Daria P.S.How\'s life? |
| A: | Sounds like your so-called friend has her own agenda. I'd lay the hoof down on her, she has to know where you stand and give her an ultimatum on the whole Brian thing. If she is really your friend, she'll lay off. NDL P.S. Life is. |
| Q: | is scott going to marry me? |
| A: | If he proposes, and you say yes, then yes. If not, then no. NDL |
| Q: | i am the 3rd in a row to ask u this, claire the llama supporter :)n liz the alpaca supporter *stab* but u didnt tell us that either is better, TELL ME WHICH ONE IS BETTER.. LLAMAS OR ALPACAS!! i am a mutual frend *coff* and therefore it doesnt affect me as i follow neither.. - llama su.. ren |
| A: | As I frolic with both once again my answer is NEITHER. NDL |
| Q: | One of my best friends has been getting totally snippy with me recently for no apparent reason. What do you think could be the cause? |
| A: | Whatever. NDL |
| Q: | Will I ever be drafted to the mlb? |
| A: | Seeing the current Milwaukee Brewers team, it is possible for anyone to get recruited into Major League Baseball. NDL |
| Q: | i want to have penguin-children. is that possible? |
| A: | Befriend a genetic enginner with an infatuation for penguins. Anything is possible nowadays. NDL |
| Q: | if a tree fell in Helen Kellers backyard would it still make a sound |
| A: | Not a good example, because Hellen Keller is dead and has no home. NDL |
| Q: | I am scared of going into a higher grade. And one more question if you are such a knowlagable<--(cant spell) tell me do I have any problems in my life and what are they? |
| A: | You have one glaring problem, and that is that you can't spell. Other problems will be resolved over time. NDL |
| Q: | from what I\'ve gathered you are neutered and can produce no naked heir. Will you appoint one to take your place when the end draws near? |
| A: | Luckily, I have an extremely long life span so that not be necessary... NDL |
| Q: | what would happen if a llama escaped from the zoo |
| A: | Actually I'm pretty sure the first thing it would do, is look for something to eat. NDL |
| Q: | do u have a personal service we want da naked llamaaaaaaa heeheeheeee |
| A: | Sorry, I'm not that kind of llama -- unless all you want is personal advice. NDL |
| Q: | can i have a shirt for free??? |
| A: | Sure you can, if you win the T-shirt contest. NDL |
| Q: | Why are you so awsome, o awsome Llama? You are so wise, and I support you for president! I was wondering if frolicing is the new hop??? Please wright back, i treasure all Llama wisdom! Angry Naked Frank |
| A: | Frolicking: The New Hop. No, actually that's Star Wars Episode 4. (Hope? Close enough ;)) NDL |
| Q: | what is a naked dancing llama?? are there any other naked dancing animals?? |
| A: | I am. Yes, there are other naked dancing animals, but they don't advertise it. NDL |
| Q: | Why is my boy friend eric avoiding me? I love him so much and i thought he loved me. |
| A: | Sounds like he's having issues -- try to get him to communicate. And if he won't, well, either he has his reasons, it is part of his personality, or he is just being immature. NDL |
| Q: | What will I do about Jim? |
| A: | Brood. NDL |
| Q: | Should I be in love with my dog? |
| A: | You never will really know what your dog is thinking -- so for all you know he is just using you. NDL |
| Q: | Dear NDL, As I sit here wearing my fabulous glow-in-the-dark \"don\'t lick something unless you mean it\" tee, I wonder: since the stock market has taken a nose dive would now be the time to buy, or is it just too unstable and I should spend my money on real estate instead? |
| A: | Biotech is still growing, despite what investors may say. I've also heard of people having luck investing in (ironically) credit card companies. My Mau Laui stock is remaining stable. (They are the macadamia nut company.) As for real estate, stay away from shore front property. El Nino' 2 is out there. NDL |
| Q: | will u frolic with me????????? |
| A: | Yes. NDL |
| Q: | Dear NDL. You know how you said that the only evil bastard spawn of satan was David Spade? Does that mean David Spade is a llama? Obviously, he cannot be an alpaca, as alpacas are NOT the evil bastard spawn of satan, OR the co-founders of Hell. Barney the Cute Purple Dinosaur and Ronald McDonald, on the other hand are. So as you can see, unless alpacas look like purple dinosuars or very scary men with red hair, white skin and big feet, then they cannot be the co-founders of hell. |
| A: | David Spade is not a llama, he just played one in a movie once. As for your other theories..well..that's just silly. NDL |
| Q: | I must tell you that you really do give good advice, I mean some of these people\'s questions are pretty deep. I think you\'re far better than that Dear Abby chick. Now here\'s my question: I went up to Eagle River(do you know where that is?) this past week and visited this petting zoo and it was there that I saw a momma llama and a baby (I got a little choked up). I was wondering are you in a zoo? Because I\'ve never seen a llama outside of a zoo in Wisconsin before. I mean there\'s ostriches and emu and deer and bears, etc. But I\'ve never seen a llama nor a llama farm. Am I just not looking in the right place? Also don\'t you think our state is shaped the cutest? It\'s like a little mitten while the others are just square and unshapely, except maybe Texas, but they have that accent which is a total turn off, but I digress.... -Liz *Milwaukee Wisconsin* |
| A: | 1. I am not in a zoo. I live in my Caretaker's apartment (don't tell anyone) and go out often to party and frolic. 2. Wisconsin is fun in a very different way then say, Los Angeles. The shape is neat, and I especially like having a finger shaped penninsula. Every state should have one of those. 3. Llama farms are all over, mostly off of non-residential area highways. You will know when you pass one when you see a llama stare at you knowingly from the fields. NDL |
| Q: | naked dancing llama, why are there commercials for \"hooters\"? the place is designed to tear families apart, so why are they advertising it on tv? |
| A: | "Hooters" does not tear families apart. Dysfunctional families tear themselves apart. If a girl with a tight shirt tears away a man from his wife, then that relationship was not stable enough to begin with. As for the television advertisements -- perhaps they realize that their wardrobe is being stolen by the female cast of Buffy, The Vampyre Slayer? NDL |
| Q: | Hello My friend told me and my other friend something. I found out that the other friend might tell other people the first friends secret and has already mentioned the fact that there is a secret. I dont know what to do. Do I have any right to be mad at the friend who is telling the secret since its not my secret? |
| A: | Sounds like this third person isn't very trustworthy. I'd reconsider calling them a friend if I were you...they seem to just be gossiping. NDL |
| Q: | Will my boyfriend and I be together for a long time? |
| A: | Time is relative, and some moments can seem like forever, while others are fleeting. So, yes. And no. NDL |
| Q: | hey Naked Dancing Llama. I was wondering if there are anymore like you or if you are the only Naked Dancing Llama therapist. A friend of mine is a Llama...but he doesn\'t dance...only spits. I\'ll be waiting for your reply. Thank you.........Matt |
| A: | I am the one and only. Hence the (TM) by my name. NDL |
| Q: | If you could be either ren or stimpy which one would you be and why? |
| A: | I would be neither. Both are much too unstable. NDL |
| Q: | Given that God already knows the future, does this mean that freewill is just an illusion? |
| A: | I didn't realize you had spoken to God and confirmed that he/she/it knows the future. Please give me his/her/its email address as I have some questions of my own. Thank you. NDL |
| Q: | Dear Mr. Naked Dancing Llama Man: You will never believe what happened to me the other day. Well, ok, I was hanging out at the pool with Tristan and Rita and we were all sipping on diet cokes and John came up and talked to us. I know! Isn\'t that just hysterical? Anyways, I was just writing to see how you were doing. It\'s been a long time since I\'ve seen you! Last time I saw you we were all hanging out with Jason and Brittany weren\'t we? Or did we go to the truck stop with Dylon and Ethan. I don\'t know. Anyway, we should hang out some time before you leave town. O wait! I know what I was going to ask you. Why does peanut butter always stick to the roof of your mouth?? Thank you Elise |
| A: | Like, oh my God, I don't know, Elise! NDL |
| Q: | if you came on the internet in 95 how are you only 5 llama years old? please awwnser me this oh great llama |
| A: | I took two years off the net during which I didn't age. NDL |
| Q: | what should i name my pigeon? |
| A: | Samuel. NDL |
| Q: | Will I finally hook up with Nadja, or did we simply miss the right moment, and the chance is gone? |
| A: | Life can be really weird that way. The answer is, your life will be full of right moments, so you really shouldn't fret about anything that happens with Nadja. NDL |
| Q: | well mike ever want me for a girlfriend? |
| A: | Probably best if you move on. NDL |
| Q: | how do you eat an oreo? |
| A: | I eat them in one big llama chomp. NDL |
| Q: | Do you enjoy covering yourself naked in clear contact and rolling around on the ground, like any llama should? |
| A: | I do like rolling around on the ground, but if I covered myself with clear contact, then I wouldn't be naked, would I? NDL |
| Q: | Oh wise llama. I have a problem. One of my friends is an alpaca supporter and this is getting in the way of our friendship. My other friends are true llama supporters and also find this a problem. I know alpacas are your cousins but I find they are the evil spawn of Satan. Do you think so too? *Bows* Thankyou holy one. |
| A: | Only David Spade is the evil spawn of Satan. NDL |
| Q: | Do you think I\'ll ever be a photographer for National Geographic? Also, what is your opinion on seedcakes? ~The Evil Gnome |
| A: | Evil Gnome: Build yourself a nice nature portfolio and send it into the magazine. You never know. 2. Seedcakes are nummy. NDL |
| Q: | Dear NDL. My friends and i have been having a very big disagreement over whether llamas, or alpacas are better. Could you please tell them, alpacas are the best, and also, they are not the co-founders of hell? thankyou very much. from liz, the blonde alpaca. |
| A: | Neither are better. I've frolicked with llamas and alpacas and call them both my friends. NDL |
| Q: | What does lamas eat? |
| A: | I eat Macadamia nuts and eclairs. Most llamas eat grass and the like. For more info, see llamaweb. NDL |
| Q: | me and my friend loves llamas we think they are cute sweet |
| A: | Well llamas think you are cute and sweet too. NDL |
| Q: | is it ok to frolic with the llamas at night |
| A: | Yup! Especially in the moonlight. But don't frolic with asleep llamas, as they can get grumpy if awoken suddenly from good dreams. NDL |
| Q: | why does my dog roscoe keep pooping on the rug or just anywhere in the house??? |
| A: | He needs some professional training..or needs some medicine to help with the poop problem. I'd talk to a vet. NDL |
| Q: | will i find love soon? |
| A: | Love will find you. NDL |
| Q: | Why is it that all the girls I like are annoying as hell? |
| A: | Typically the ones you like the most are the ones that get to you, which automatically makes them annoying. NDL |
| Q: | hello, and welcome to martha stewart living, today we will be serving llama, hahahaha, just kidding. but i was wondering what the best way to prepare a llama was? Martha |
| A: | Martha, Listen, I won't come on your show no matter how much you keep threatening me or emailing me. Before long I will have to get a restraining order. NDL |
| Q: | oi... i have been spending alot of time with my dead grandmother who still lives in her apartment in Bridgemont. i see her almost daily and she bakes me cookies. she had a llama that is buried in the back...his name was llamaranda. should i not keep digging him up to play teaparty and get some friends of my own? or should i keep him locked away in his lonely grave to rot and decompose by his lonesome? just wondering -barking tealeaf |
| A: | Dear Barking, A much healthier choice would be getting into the music of Rob Zombie. At least he deals with supernatural, unreal dead things, instead of disturbing the actual dead. NDL |
| Q: | The baby llamas in our household think that they don\'t have to do chores on Saturdays. The mama llama says if this is true, then she doesn\'t have to feed them on Saturdays. What do you think? Signed, Mamallama. |
| A: | The problem with this, is that it only leads to grumpy, HUNGRY baby llamas. Chores never come easy to baby llamas, no matter what the incentive. Teaching the truth about consequences, and what a pain in the butt life can be when you aren't frolicking, is one of the harder parental duties. I wish you luck. NDL |
| Q: | What is the meaning of life oh you naked dancing fiend? Oh and what is your favorite band?-FONDL |
| A: | 1. To frolic like a llama.
2. I like my Caretaker's music at this site NDL |
| Q: | Im 13 and i dont know if i should have sex yet |
| A: | 13, in my opinion, is too young to have sex. Though it would feel good, it will really fry your emotions and your mind. The whole reason that humans are told to "wait" is because sex can really do things to your brain -- causing highs and lows of love, depression, and angst. It can also have serious reprecussions, like pregnancy. Unless you want to wear all of these burdens, I'd stick to kissing and the like. You are saving both yourself and your sig other from a lot of situations that could put you in a world of hurt. And this is not to say sex isn't fun -- if it wasn't no one would ever do it. It's what happens AFTER the sex that causes the above problems. So remember that. NDL |
| Q: | i have a particular hard time with this badger that tries to wear my socks. no it does not just stop at the sock thing he also goes to my work and tries to eat my shoelaces on my lunch break. i have tried everything - even ask jeeves but NOTHING CAN KILL THIS DAMN BADGER RUARGRHGHRHG!!!!!! ehmm sorry oh well just wanted to see if oh great and learned one could give me some help |
| A: | Sounds like he is just very lonely. I would find him some badger friends to frolic with. Take it from me -- Badgers are socialites (I would know, I live in the Badger state). NDL |
| Q: | Dear all mighty and all knowing llama: I am 17.m.oh. Just reciently I took a trip down to arkansas and fell in love with a girl from missouri. I dont know what to do. Should I realize this is just a dream and let her go? Thanks, Andy Clark http://planeta4.tripod.com |
| A: | Andy, Long distance relationships are both costly financially and emotionally. If it is just a fun relationship, then you may want to keep in touch -- but I wouldn't get too emotionally invested unless you are ready for a more serious commitment. NDL |
| Q: | My boyfriend is a (bad word). How can I make him a romantic mush ball? |
| A: | You can't, so stop trying. Move on, find a guy who is ALREADY a romantic mushball. NDL |
| Q: | Which powerpuff girl is your favorite? You are my idol! I worship you! |
| A: | Which powerpuff girl. That is a tough one. I'm actually partial to the guy who looks over them. It must be quite a job to take care of those girls. He must be quite a guy with lotsa love in his heart. NDL |
| Q: | is your mama a llama? |
| A: | Great book. NDL PS. Yes. |
| Q: | How do i get rid of a guest that has outstayed his welcome?? |
| A: | Indicate that you've enjoyed his stay but that you really need some privacy now and you'd appreciate him or her moving on as soon as possible. NDL (Or, blast lots of music you know he doesn't like) |
| Q: | My friend went out with this boy. Then she went camping for a week and came home to find that her boyfriend was goign out with another girl. He said \"I love you\" more than once and my friend wants to know why he would say that and not mean it! |
| A: | How old is this boy? Oftentimes people say I love you, when really they haven't experienced love -- only infatuation. Others are true manipulators who just say it to get what they want. If you think the boy is the honest type, he obviously is just going through love pangs, which are different and more like crushes than actual true love. NDL |
| Q: | I am sleeping with a man who is dating a friend of mine. He always tells me how much he cares for me and the sex is incredible. Should I keep seeing him???? |
| A: | If you don't want a long term relationship with this man. Look at it this way -- who is to say he wouldn't go after a third girl and say the same things to her?? You are being played, and there are relationships in which you can have great nookie AND commitment, I don't care what the others say. NDL |
| Q: | WILL BRUCE AND I BE HAPPY |
| A: | IF YOU CHOOSE TO BE. NDL |
| Q: | hello naked dancing llama. i have a few questions. first off, where do you live? secondly, my cat is very,very mean. i think that he had a bad childhood...err.. kittenhood. at any rate, even though we nursed him back to health as a young stray,he still seems to hate us. Even now, looking down, i can see an unattractive \'battle wound\' that i\'ve recieced. it seems that a scratch from this deceivably adorable cat is inevitable when living in this house. I\'ve tried petting him, giving him treats. we dont mistreat him. how can i get him to be nice to me? once,as i was frolicking, he attacked me! maybe he just doesnt like me? or my family? well,at any rate, im confused! |
| A: | 1. wisconsin 2. Your cat may have some mental issues to work through (seriously!) I would take him to a vet and see if the vet has any suggestions as to how you can improve his behavior. Being a foster parent is always a tough job, it sounds like you are doing your best. NDL |
| Q: | Naked Dancing Llama, can I call you mom? if not, can I call you Jeff? |
| A: | No, but you can call me "NDL". NDL |
| Q: | Ye olde llama please can you tell me where I can get tap shoes for my hooves as the guy who looks after me, Lionel Blair, wants to take me on his next pantomime tour. |
| A: | You can get some nice tap shoes at All About Dance That's where I get mine. NDL |
| Q: | Dear Naked Dancing Llama, I have a very beautiful friend called Camilla Skuse. I think she would be very well-suited to form a relationship with you. She loves llamas and has a cracking sense of humour. Do you think that you could point your hoof in her direction? Lots of love from the Gaffer in the UK |
| A: | Unfortunately, to keep myself pure, I avoid romantic involvements, especially with humans. I care about them a lot but a romantic entanglement would threaten my spiritual purity. NDL |
| Q: | My hoofs are not very shiny. What do you advise me to buff them with? I am slightly a-llama-red by it. |
| A: | I keep my hooves shiny because I eat healthy foods with minerals in them that are good for them. I also get a weekly hoof-i-cure. NDL |
| Q: | y r alpacas da ebil spawn of da devil? |
| A: | No, but bad spellers are. NDL |
| Q: | I know you are probably sick of silly love questions, but i have one for you anyway. I am extremely in love with my boyfriend...\"monkey nuts\". He is my first boyfriend, first kiss, first sexual experience, even though i am 19. He says he loves me very much, and I believe that to be true, however sometimes my self esteem is so low that i dont believe him. anyway. he does. blah blah blah but there is one problem between us, i am anti drug, and he is not. he uses pot (and yes my silly little friends, that is a drug and no drugs are not good) his usage has slowed down, and i\'m glad. but when i met him he was in rehab, he had a drug charge (which was luckily dropped) and he was trying very hard. When i met him, he was like \" yes i know it\'s not cool, and it\'s not for me, it just hurts me. on and on and on\" as soon as his charges were dropped and he started using again he was like \" oh it\'s a sacred herb, i use it for spiritual guidance\" it pisses me off. i need help i love him, what do you make of the situation? thanks \"little bumblebee\" |
| A: | Staying with someone just because they make you feel good about yourself is setting yourself up to be used. Doesn't sound like this one is a winner. I say, frolic elsewhere. NDL |
| Q: | i want to be a llama is the surgery expensive? |
| A: | Yes, it would cost you your humanity. NDL |
| Q: | oh great supreme llama, there once was a great nd inspiring prayer on this site that was to be said and offered,along with peanuts and shubbery, to the supreme llaam on the second tuesday of every month. Now, with the very attractive new look of the FONDL website,i cant find it!! =*( a second tuesday has come and gone! please... give me a link to where on this new, adventurous site ican find it! thanks! =) |
| A: | Links to the Prayer to the Supreme Llama, the Llamabada, and information from previous presidential campaigns will pop up again over the next few weeks. I was too eager to debut CLEO to wait until everything was completely done. The Supreme Llama is aware of this and is being very understanding of the situation. NDL |
| Q: | i have a fishfinger stuck to my television. what should i do? |
| A: | The remote won't get it off the TV, I'm afraid you will have to get up and remove it manually. NDL |
| Q: | What is your name? ~Colleen |
| A: | Naked Dancing Llama. NDL |
| Q: | O great all knowing llama, can one follow both the path of the llama and that of the martial arts. thank you |
| A: | Definitely. However, martial arts requires more control and precision than frolicking, as it's easier to hurt people when you are performing martial arts. NDL |
| Q: | Will I ever fall in love? |
| A: | Some day you are bound to be cursed with that wonderful affliction. NDL |
| Q: | Are Llamas the Easter Bunny in disguise? |
| A: | No, llamas get Easter baskets just like everyone else from the gracious Bunny. NDL |
| Q: | Will happiness be found online? |
| A: | True happiness comes from within. NDL |
| Q: | do a lot of people like llamas cause i no i do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR ANSWERING MY QUESTIONS |
| A: | Yes, but apparently they can't spell very well. I find this distressing, because technically as a llama I should not be able to spell as well as humans. Conclusion: humans have trouble spelling correctly when they are writing emails asking llamas for advice. NDL |
| Q: | I live in Mebane, North Carolina, how would I find out more information about llamas? I am very interested in getting one to live with my goats. Can anyone help me with info? |
| A: | Again, take a look at Llamaweb. I really have to make a FAQ... NDL |
| Q: | What do you do if you have had a boyfriend for over a year and you dumped him because you got confused and now, a month later, he has a girlfriend and you want him back. he still spends loads of time with you and tells you he still loves you. Last night he cheating on his girlfriend by having sex with you. however he wont dump his girlfriend and go back out with you. you really will do anything to get him back. Dani |
| A: | Dani, This is known as "Soap opera syndrome". You have to have enough self respect to say to the guy -- it's me or her. I know that's not easy, but in this situation you need to protect yourself from hurt. The big loser is going to be him -- because he's stringing two girls around. I'd move on immediately, because he has obviously stated where he stands by not leaving the other girl. And who is to say he wouldnt' do the same thing to you in the future? NDL |
| Q: | hi geoff, i\'ve got a problem. right, so, my mates brother and me started to go out, but now i don\'t want to, and my mate says that if i break up with him she\'ll never talk to me again. wot a silly cow eh? But i don\'t know what to do. Love you lots, please sign my breasts next time you\'re in town. |
| A: | Sounds like blackmail to me. Are you sure this friend is really your friend? She's being very protective of her brother, and it's clear where her loyalties lie. If you do break up with him, expect bad reprocussions with your friend, because she will probably side with her next of kin and sparks are going to fly. NDL |
| Q: | i really like this guy . how do i get him to like me? |
| A: | Capture him, put him in your closet and don't release him until he writes you love poetry. NDL |
| Q: | will trevor and i still be together when school starts up again? |
| A: | Time will tell. It always does. NDL |
| Q: | My cheese doesn\'t melt in the bathroom. How do I eat my own ear? |
| A: | Eating your own ear is not healthy. I would recommend eating elephant ears, which are available at your local carnival, and taste great. (Typically, elephant ears are cinnamon pastries, not real elephant ears.) As for your bathroom, try running the cheese under hot water. NDL |
| Q: | I want to own a farm someday, but I am concerned about the cost. Do they eat a lot, or need more than ten acres per head? Thanks! |
| A: | You can find this sort of information at Llamaweb. By the way, folks, I'm making an NDL FAQ because thanks to CLEO I'm starting to see what are frequently asked questions. This is one of them, believe it or not. NDL |
| Q: | llama i love llamas me and my friend saw one standing on a pile of dirt on our way to pennsilvania have u ever dont that b4?? |
| A: | No, I have never dont that before. NDL |
| Q: | Will I ever find true love???? |
| A: | As I've answered before, that's not the way it usually works; true love finds you. NDL |
| Q: | how can some one be shy but not be shy on msn messenger? |
| A: | Put yourself on invisibility mode, but start conversations. That way, you won't get weirdos talking to you, and you can talk to new people on your own terms. NDL |
| Q: | I have this boyfriend and we live an hour away and i cant go visit him all the time like he visits me. WEll, should i be worried when he cancels our date cuz he is \"sick\"? |
| A: | Do you trust him? If so, then maybe he is really sick. If you are suspicious, ask for details. The devil is always in the details, and therein you can trap someone in a lie. I remember a time when a llama lied to me about eating my peanuts, and when I asked him what EXACTLY he was doing at the time (frolicking in what field, with whom, to what sort of music) he froze up.
NDL |
| Q: | will I puke on the plane ride to the bahamas |
| A: | You will not, however you will feel very guilty if you do not make a Comet Cursor for the Naked Dancing Llama using peanuts as pointers. NDL PS (Only the question asker will get this one, folks) |
| Q: | Will you babysit my camel on friday? |
| A: | Unfortunately, I have a meeting with the American Association of Retired People -- to counsel those who haven't learned how to frolic yet and are over 55. Sad really, but I'm sure I can help them. Try some online camel-sitting services. NDL |
| Q: | if i made a llama book would you put it on this site |
| A: | If it was a good llama book. NDL |
| Q: | What should I bring on my llama hike? |
| A: | Everything you'd take on a backpacking trip, plus some food for the llamas. NDL |
| Q: | Why must you be so confusing???? |
| A: | Mystics are supposed to be. I'm really straightforward compared to some! NDL |
| Q: | Why are you a naked Llama, rather then a naked cow? |
| A: | I was born a llama, and a llama I'll stay. NDL |
| Q: | Is it possible to lick your own elbow? |
| A: | Depends how long your arm is, and how flexible you are. You can try, but if you hear something snap..stop trying. NDL |
| Q: | If ur so naked, why did i ask where did u buy ur pants???? |
| A: | Because, typically, humans wear pants, and it must have confused you. NDL |
| Q: | A young chap I find friendly and interesting is going to be around until the 26th of July. I think he is interested in me. What should I do (romantically)? ~Colleen |
| A: | Decide if you can handle a quick-no-conditions realtionship..you won't be able to set up mouch more than that in that sort of time. If you can handle that, then go for it. NDL |
| Q: | Oh holy Naked Dancing Llama, how do you pronounce llama? With a ya- sound at the beginning, or with a La- sound at the beginning? I go with the La-, but what is your oppinion being that you are a llama. ~Colleen |
| A: | When I am on the North American continent, I say La- as in Llama. When I am on the South American continent I say ya- as in Yama, as that is the native dialect. NDL |
| Q: | Hello Naked Dancing Llama! I love your website. I would also like to buy a T-shirt, but I am still working ont that. Anyway, now for my question. It is much like the last one I asked, but I want a more specific answer. Will I get a boyfriend this school year? |
| A: | If a guy asks you out, or you ask him, and someone says yes, then yes. NDL |
| Q: | Where did u buy your pants? |
| A: | I have no pants. I am naked. NDL |
| Q: | Oh great frolicing llama! I have a question for you. When will I get my first boyfriend? I will anxiously await your reply |
| A: | You will get your first boyfriend much too soon for you for you to be able to handle it. NDL |
| Q: | Who is the president? |
| A: | Currently? George W. Bush. NDL |
| Q: | Are you really a llama? |
| A: | You tell me. NDL |
| Q: | The first time i asked u a question, wise llama, it took about 2 days to get an answer. the second time i asked a question it took only 1 day! now i asked a question like a week ago and it has yet to be answered. did u go on vacation or something or are u being rude and not answering my question that i so desperatly need an answer to? I am a FONDL but this type of thing makes me annoyed. if u did go on vacation were did u go? frolicing naked llama follower, chisty |
| A: | Technically, the Nakedbox is only to be updated once a week. However, because there are anxious frolickers like yourself, NDL attempts to answer questions time permitting throughout the week, working with his Caretaker's busy schedule. NDL |
| Q: | this 25 year old guy is hitting on me hard core and i\'m only 18. this scares me a little what should i do? |
| A: | You are of legal age, so you will have to learn how to deal with this, especially if you are attractive. Let him down easy. And if he keeps persisting, get some big burly friends to back you up. NDL |
| Q: | Why is the weather in the UK always raining and cold??? |
| A: | To add atmosphere. NDL |
| Q: | How can I make more money right now? |
| A: | Stop typing to me and get a job. Might want to try HotJobs.com or the like. NDL |
| Q: | What should i do with my life? |
| A: | Knit a life cozy and put your life in it. NDL |
| Q: | I accidently ate a fishes head, what shall i do? |
| A: | Eat them up..yum. NDL |
| Q: | Will I marry chad? |
| A: | If he asks, and you say yes, then yes, you will marry him. NDL |
| Q: | Why are you eating us? |
| A: | I am not eating you, but it could be said that the earth is gradually eating all of us as we all wander towards death. NDL |
| Q: | Do u ever get annoyed with some of the annoying questions? oh and what about breakfast at tiffani\'s? |
| A: | 1. There is no such thing as a dumb question -- annoying questions typically mean someone is trying to hide behind the annoyance with a real curiousity. 2. I think I remember the film. NDL |
| Q: | Why should we frolic? |
| A: | In order to reach inner peace. NDL |
| Q: | Is it healthy to watch a Llama frolic? |
| A: | It's not unhealthy. But I would recommend frolicking with the llama. NDL |
| Q: | Dear NDL: I believe I am a llama at heart. I adore this website and I think llamas are cute. But that\'s not my question. I am hoping to acquire a llama at some point in the future, but have been told that they are grouchy, stink, expensive and generally unlovable. Is there any truth to this? Also, do llamas eat hot dogs? -Laina |
| A: | Llamas vary as do cats and dogs or any other creature. Some are sanitary, some are not. Some are grouchy, some are not. The importance here is breeding. I, for example, was raised by the Supreme Llama who taught me to be civil and courteous, and also how to frolic. I would check out the llama's parents and their owners for a good indication on how your llama would behave. Most llamas do not eat hot dogs as they make them sick (and not just cause of the preservatives either). NDL |
| Q: | Why do us stupid humans fall in love with our friends? It seems perfectly sane to love those you\'re close to..but insane to date someone who is your friend...why is this? |
| A: | Dating creates a level of intimacy where feelings can get intense enough to disrupt a friendship so it is never the same. It's the people that are brave enough to take this risk that often end up in the happiest marriages; but it can also lead to the most devistating breakups -- because of the intensity of the closeness. NDL |
| Q: | wil you join in the quest to irradicat all llammas from the face of the planet |
| A: | Will you join in my quest to get everyone to use spellcheck? NDL |
| Q: | do my soon to be boyfriend really love me |
| A: | Ask him. NDL |
| Q: | what should i name my llama? i want a unique name! |
| A: | Try the name of one of the Norse gods. Thor, or Ulysses come to mind. NDL |
| Q: | when is the world going to end? |
| A: | Eventually. NDL |
| Q: | I\\\'ve recently been blessed with a rare opportunity, one that most people aren\\\'t offered. However, although I am honored I feel that my heart isn\\\'t quite fully into it. Should I continue on this path to see where it leads, or what? |
| A: | What color is her hair? Seriously, do not do something if your heart is not in it, it will only come back to haunt you in the end. Alternately, give it a shot but don't make any binding commitments. NDL |
| Q: | why can\'t i be naked? |
| A: | Must be your own inhibitions.. Might want to work on that. Especially in the shower. NDL |
| Q: | Whats Yo\' name? Pretty Girl? Whats Yo\' name? |
| A: | My name is Naked Dancing Llama. It is not "Pretty Girl" though you would have no way of telling because I am neutered. |
| Q: | im tring to sing this one song and i can think of what the songs name is or how it goes??? can you help me sing this song?? it goes i think something like this....boo yaa im a llama. |
| A: | You are referring to the movie starring Deniro called "Scent of a Woman," in which the character he portrays often announces, "Boo ya! I'm a llama." throught the film. I think it's a Navy/Arny/Marines thing. NDL |
| Q: | Dear NDL, Do you have the key? Do you have the secret? Doug |
| A: | Dear Doug, No, and I hope you find them before you get a parking ticket. NDL |
| Q: | Dear Naked Dancing Llama, I own a quaint but bueatiful field that happens to have all the qualities the make a field optimal for frolicking. I noticed this fact about one year ago and since then I have been loaning out my field to those who wish to release their tensions (and occasionally their clothes) by frolicking merily through it. Approximately 4 weeks ago a man who had recently been fired from his job came to my field and while frolicking he sustained an injury to his left leg. This man is now sueing me for a large sum of money. I was wondering if you could give me any advise that would assist me in my upcomming court case. Anything from a llama as wise as yourself would be greatly apreciated. Sincerely, Charles Tommervik |
| A: | Charles, He obviously wasn't frolicking with care. Though it is gracious of you to offer your field for frolicking, you must keep in mind the trustworthiness and responsibility of those you frolic with. Unfortunately, you should get yourself a lawyer, as this person obviously does not have the best interests of frolickers at heart, merely his own. NDL |
| Q: | Greetings masterful llama and perveyor of fine wisdom. I seek an answer to a question that has grazed the minds of every man, woman, and llama at some point. This powerful question which now burns unceasingly at my brain is as follows: What time is it? |
| A: | It's 4:30. It's not late..no..no...just early, early, early. NDL |
| Q: | am i your number one fan? |
| A: | I've seen the movie Misery too many times to answer yes. NDL |
| Q: | O Wonderful Llama, I noticed whilst reading the Nakedbox that you tolda lonely (tall) girl about Douglas Adams and his tall height and large nose. However, Mr. Adams has other important characteristics (along with being famous and stuff). I was deeply moved by his books. Perhaps the only imperfection in them is that they never once mention llamas. Have you ever read his books? I strongly reccommend them for anyone anywhere, not just English Sci-Fi enthusiasts. Also, is it true that The Almighty Bob, who watches over the Universe from his lakeside mansion in the Land of Kevin, actually is a llama? This is very important to me. Finally, is it possible for you to send your reply to me questions in the reply email as well as posting it on the site? Thank you, O Frolicking Llama. |
| A: | 1. No, I have never read the books. Rather, I took a brian pill which implanted the memory of reading them into my psyche. My caretaker\'s niece was the actual reader of the books. 2. The Almighty Bob is actually David Spade trying to find yet another outlet for his humor. He isn\'t a real llama. He just played one once. 3. If you want to see your reply in an email form please subscribe to the Nakedlist I understand that it would be more convenient to mail you the responses but it is my philosophy that it is best to take the opportunity to open your mind to llama wisdom provided to others as well as yourself. NDL |
| Q: | Hello there oh great one! I\'m a squirrel weeeee! But i have this question thats just been nagging at me....could you make a pink flying machine that runs on mashed potatoes? |
| A: | No, but I bet Mary Kay could. NDL |
| Q: | My cat is in heat and broke through the screen in the window, got out, and got laid. Do you think this would be a good way for ME to meet a man? |
| A: | No. You'd hurt yourself in the screen window. NDL |
| Q: | how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? |
| A: | As much wood as a wood chuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. NDL |
| Q: | I love llamas!!!!! I sometimes wonder if you ever eat eclairs(French food). I thinkyou should. O Great Llama. |
| A: | Eclairs don't settle right in a llama's stomach in general..luckily I as a Naked Dancing Llama have a superior stomach and eat them occasionally. :) NDL |
| Q: | what do you mean by frolic? |
| A: | Frolic means: 1. To behave playfully and uninhibitedly; romp. 2.To engage in merrymaking. There's a lot of open-ended room here, and that's the idea. NDL |
| Q: | What is best to give a girl on a date? And what to do on a date? And should I kiss on my first date? I a male, and I\\\'m 14 years old. So thanks, byes. |
| A: | 1. Best thing to give a girl on a date is an attentive ear. Be a good listener and ask lots of questions about her. Unless she'd rather have you nibble it. 2. Llamas typically go out and look at the stars. 3. Kiss on the first date? Play that one by ear. If she likes you (and you should know if you are talking and listening as said in step one) go for it. NDL |
| Q: | My Birthday is coming and 6 people are coming. One guy asks me what do I want for my birthday, and I don\\\'t want to be rude or anything. What should I say and do? |
| A: | Tell him you want an NDL T-shirt more than anything. ;) NDL |
| Q: | i love to frolic, but sometimes when i do it hurts my legs, what should i do about it? |
| A: | Sometimes a good warm-up and leg stretch, and maybe some Yoga will help out before some vigorous frolicking. NDL |
| Q: | Hi, Are you a male or a female? I have 5 girls who like me and they all want to go out with me on the same day. One of the girls whats to have a relationship and I\'m only 15. What do I do? They all look hot too. |
| A: | I am neutered (Formerly male). "They all look hot too"..sounds like you are not looking for a serious relationship, but some fun. I'd let the girl who wants the relationsihp know that is all you are in for -- also, let ALL the girls know you are dating other girls. If they can deal with this, you should be able to date a few of them and then choose one to see steadily if you so please. Always be honest and never play games! NDL |
| Q: | Hi mighty llama of wisdom, how are you today? Well, i have a friend that is doing things he is not suposed to do. So, should i tell someone or do i not get involed. Thanks great mighty llama of wisdom.;) |
| A: | The best way to handle this situation is to tell someone anonymously. NDL |
| Q: | hi, I am 14 and a male and I\'m growing grey and white hair. I am just a teen too. I\'m growing more white and grey hair than my other teen friends. I see about six to eight grey and white hair a month and it makes me look older. I always eat healthy stuff, play sports, hang out with many friends, and I feel strong and normal like a teen should be. Whats wrong with me? Am I doing anything wrong in my life? What should I do? When do teens start to grow grey and white hair? And is this suppose to happen? and is it natures course? Please help. By the way, are Llamas like human and people. See ya. Bye. |
| A: | Hi there. As a general rule, I don't answer explicit questions, so yours has been edited. It's not unusual for you to grow grey hair at a young age -- it just seems you are accelerated in that way. My fur, for example, am completely white, and was born that way. You can always dye or bleach your hair if you think it's a real problem. Also, don't hesistate to talk to your doctor about it. NDL |
| Q: | how are you? |
| A: | I'm fine. NDL |
| Q: | Are you afraid of death? |
| A: | Not particularily. Fearing the inevitable is a waste of time... NDL |
| Q: | Hi great frolicing llama. a/s/l?. Do you mainly frolic with others or by yourself. |
| A: | 1. 5 llama years old/neuter/Wisconsin.
2. I try to balance my time frolicking with others with that of frolicking alone. NDL |
| Q: | What is the naked list? |
| A: | The Nakedlist is the Naked Dancing Llama's mailing list, where he makes important site announcements and emails a copy of the advice listed here monthly.
Follow the link labelled "FONDL" (Friends of Naked Dancing Llama) in the side toolbar and you can join the Nakedlist! NDL |
| Q: | ok, naked dancing llama... you are my absolute hero! i love being naked, i love to dance, and i just adore frolicing! only problem is, i\'m not a llama! i really really really want to be though! i just cant find a way to! can you help me become more like a llama |
| A: | That's the key. You can be LIKE a llama...I'd never ask you to BE a llama. That would just be silly. NDL |
| Q: | Is my current relationship gonna last? |
| A: | If both you and your partner want it to, it will. NDL |
| Q: | Why do you call yourself the naked Dancing Llama? |
| A: | Because I'm naked (unless you count fur), I dance a mean tango, and I'm a llama. NDL |
| Q: | do you regret getting nutered? |
| A: | No. It will prevent me from having any Bill Clinton-like scandals when I obtain Presidency in 2004. NDL |
| Q: | Llama, You are my hero! I worship thee and i frolic every day...and i am buying a t shirt even as we speak! your website is the best and i like the peanut spitter song ;) your website deserves many more awards and i see alot more coming in your future...;) but i have a burning question : i have been sending these wisdom letters to the oh so divine NDL for about 3 years now and i always look at the site (at least once a day) and i have never had an answer posted. i also noticed that there are no messages on the wisdom board for any months other than july 2002. Why? NDL 4 ever :)!!! P.S. - i like the new web design and please tell me when u finish the llama movie and when/where it airs. |
| A: | 1. NDL was on hiatus while his Caretaker was finishing college. During that break, llama questions went unanswered as NDL went out of the country on a secret mission. Now, with the advent of CLEO (the Computerized Llama Entertainment Organizer) this is forever fixed. There is CLEO advice from June 2002 onward. 2. The llama movie is not even a completed script yet, just a treatment, but your enthusiasm is noted. The script should be done by 12/02, after which time the Hollywood courting process wil recommence. Older llama wisdom can be found on Jill's Frolicking fan site, available in the FONDL (Friends of Naked Dancing Llama) section of the website. NDL |
| Q: | ok, well i told my friends that i made out with this guy cuz i\\\'ve never been kissed before. only problem is, i didnt really make out with anybody! i just told them that so that they would think that i did! should i tell them the truth, or stay happy and keep up the lie?? by the way, i really really really like this web site! me and all my friends do too!!! |
| A: | That's the problem with lies. Once you start, you are basically either stuck there hiding behind it, or you get embarrased. In the case of kiss-and-tell, look what happened to Bill Clinton. By the way, if you really love this page, please support it with the purchse of an glowing llama shirt. Here's my advice. Talk to the so-called person you made out with about it. Make out with them! Or, come clean with your friends. If they give you hell, it will be more because you lied than because you didn't do it, and perhaps it will prevent a lie in the future. NDL |
| Q: | What is the meaning of life? |
| A: | To frolic like a llama. NDL |
| Q: | I am having trouble frolicing. I have been trying to release the frolic from within but is it possible that I am not able to frolic? Please help me. |
| A: | Everyone is able to frolic. You must search for your inner frolic. NDL |
| Q: | Who is god? |
| A: | If you believe, God simply is. If you don't, God isn't. NDL |
| Q: | Hi Llama Wisdom! My name is Kayla and i am 13/f/tx. How about you? Are you a real Llama or are you just some super-duper kid who can answer all the questions in a super-duper manner? Oh yea, asl? |
| A: | 1. You decide, but many believe I'm real. 2. A/S/L= 5 in human years/neutered/Wisconsin NDL |
| Q: | I really need to quit smoking, but I need some really big motivation, aside from obvious health reasons, why would you recommend quitting smoking? |
| A: | This falls under the category of "frolicking in moderation." Quitting smoking is a great goal, because you can achieve it and see the results. You can't say that about too many goals. Wanting a dream job? You can apply all day but it might not come. True love is also hard to come by even if you date and date and date. Quitting smoking? Same hard work, but you'll have a big payoff at the end and you can say you worked towards it and it PAYED OFF. Plus, guys will dig you and be impressed.. NDL |
| Q: | My parents are away for a week, & was planning to have a party. Is it right to, even though they wouldn\'t want me2, as long as I make sure nothin breaks & clear up after?? And, how u know how 2 sort out people\'s problems when you are a Llama, and most people can\'t sort put people problems? |
| A: | 1. I'm not going to endorse an unsupervised party. House rules are house rules -- and it's bad news to break them. Remember, you can trust YOURSELF not to break anything, clean up, etc..but can you trust your friends to do the same?? NDL |
| Q: | How can my llama get a naked body as in shape as yours? He trys and trys, but sees no profit for his efforts. HELP! |
| A: | I got in shape when I started carrying loads in South America in 1999 for awhile. Now I'm buff. NDL |
| Q: | Great Lamma, are you telepathic? Your answer to my last question is so remarkeably close to my own theory that it spooked me! Please explain? |
| A: | Magic. NDL |
| Q: | Oh great llama do like to frolic or have you ever froliced? |
| A: | I frolic whenever and wherever possible. Hence this site. NDL |
| Q: | How can we get brandee over here?? |
| A: | Two words: FREE FOOD. NDL |
| Q: | HOw hot is the sun and why cant aliens live on earth? |
| A: | 1. The surface of the Sun, called the photosphere, is at a temperature of about
5800 K. Sunspots are "cool" regions, only 3800 K. (that's Kelvin)R 2. Aliens already live on earth and are planning an infestation; however they fear the metal magnetite. (See the X-Files finale for more details.) NDL |
| Q: | My guy friend never says anything mean, or wrong, and neber gets mad at me, or gets angry. He has even allowed me to put him in make up, and do other things. Is my guy friend hiding anything from me? |
| A: | Sounds like he is simply a submissive. They are the type of people who are into that sort of thing. If you want someone with more backbone, you best look elsewhere. NDL |
| Q: | why must you frolic naked? |
| A: | It is my destiny. NDL |
| Q: | Why can\'t I understand the behavior of particals on the quantum level? AND Would the world end if the proton was split in a way similar to the spliting of the atom? |
| A: | 1. You mean particles? Because you have a big mind and have a problem with small (and even microscopic) ideas. 2. Not quite sure, but I get apprehensive at the prospect. That, and these particle accelorators they have that are supposedly safe..yeah right. NDL |
| Q: | where can I get a cheap llama who dosn\'t need much space? |
| A: | You're going to have a lot of problems with that, since llamas, like big dogs, need a lot of room to frolic and be free. NDL |
| Q: | does my girlfriend love me? |
| A: | Ask her. If she does, she'll respond "I love you" and then you can have an awesome makeout session. NDL |
| Q: | How do all those people get into my small tv?? And how come u arent in my tv? |
| A: | You can find out how those people get into your TV here. I'm not in your TV because I'm waiting to make my debut on the big screen. NDL |
| Q: | How do i get my llama into my car without a struggle!!! |
| A: | Let him drive. NDL |
| Q: | HI |
| A: | HI. ASL?
NDL |
| Q: | I know that you are a Llama not an Alpaca but I have an Alpaca question. I am a veterinary technician intern and he visited an Alpaca that had Sarcoptic mange on its feet and by his tail. Now the Alpaca has hairless lesions around its eyes (they look like cattle ring worm) how can we treat it? The vet doesn\'t know what to use. Thank You!! |
| A: | I feel sorry for that poor alpaca. I would consult the wealth of resources at Llamaweb and perhaps contact their webmaster. I'm sure he can help you out with this one or point you to vets in the area. NDL |
| Q: | I like this guy. He is almost perfect, but I don\'t think we are right for each other. We\'ve never dated, so I\'m having a hard time getting over him without closure, seeing that there is really nothing to close. I\'m so confused. |
| A: | Closure is a hard thing, but having no opening means that you are basically suffering alone. I would recommend confiding in your friends. This will give some concrete support for some feelings you may need to be validated by talking to another. NDL |
| Q: | I learnt to play the oboe in 2 weeks, are you impressed? Also how are Llama-sheep relations in this day and age? |
| A: | I am impressed with that, but not your grammer. It's "learned". I had that problem too for awhile. Llama and sheep tend to get along pretty well nowadays, much like Canada and the US. NDL |
| Q: | What is the answer to the question which I have not asked you, but which you must answer via your own intuition, oh llamabanana bun bun boo? |
| A: | Meka leka hi, meka hinee ho. NDL |
| Q: | Oh great lammaness, why does my computer seem sentient enough to crash at the worst possible moment, every single time? |
| A: | Do you believe in ghosts? I do. NDL |
| Q: | Will you marry me? |
| A: | Sorry, but unfortunately I don't know you well enough...but you will still always have my eternal llama love. NDL |
| Q: | This guy i used to like likes my sister now. Should i be happy for them? or should i be totally disturbed? |
| A: | Only if he asks you both on the same date. NDL |
| Q: | I\'ve always wondered how the get the chocolate into the crunchy, colorful shell of an M&M can u tell me oh wise llama?? Oh and by the way can u frolic and eat M&Ms at the same time?? |
| A: | 1. They pour the chocolate shell OVER the chocolate, and it solidifies there. 2. Yes. NDL |
| Q: | how old are you, great llama? |
| A: | I first appeared on the net in 1995, but my true age is a mystery... NDL |
| Q: | Do you think me and Lia will be together forever? |
| A: | Until you figure out how to remove that superglue. NDL |
| Q: | Will me and my girlfriend summer ever get married? |
| A: | Depends. If you propose, and she says yes, you will get married. If she says no, you will not. NDL |
| Q: | Why can you never stay friends with an ex after the relationship is finished? I mean, you can still b friends, but why can it never be the same as it was before you were together? |
| A: | Once you have touched someone deep down and know all their secrets, you can't expect things to be normal again. And once you have let someone into your heart, they are never quite out. NDL |
| Q: | Hello, I am a Llama born and bred in England who wishes to spread the good news and frolic in one of your Naked Dancing Llama T-Shirts over here in Great Britain- are there any suppliers over here? Can I get one of your cool T-shirts? Or do I have to carry on bleating in vain hope of recognition? |
| A: | Definitely. We accept international payment with PayPal, and with an extra ten bucks American, the shirt can be yours. Find the details here. |
| Q: | Do you ever get embarrassed dancing naked? |
| A: | That depends on where and when I'm frolicking, and who with. But in general, rarely. NDL |
| Q: | How do you keep your coat so shiny? |
| A: | I use Paul Mitchell haircare products, which I find to be a funny irony, since they are specifically not tested on animals. NDL |
| Q: | Will I ever see SP again? |
| A: | With the advent of DVD, SP (Standard Play) will gradually be phased out as more and more people start using technologies like TiVo and Sonicblue's Replay TV to record their programs. NDL |
| Q: | what about alpacas? (a llama cousin) do they frolick as well? |
| A: | They frolic non-competitively with llamas. NDL |
| Q: | what is the point in life? |
| A: | To frolic like a llama. NDL |
| Q: | Oh great llama of llamas. Do you own all llamas or is their more than one llama god? =P |
| A: | There are no "llama gods". But, as far as being a Naked Dancing Llama, I'm a one of a kind. NDL |
| Q: | what shade of lip stck should I wear? |
| A: | Firestation Red. NDL |
| Q: | should I quest or not? |
| A: | If you are referring to the video game Everquest, I would recommend caution. Playing that game is like playing with fire, it is easy to get addicted to the online multiplayer environment. If you know you can quest and still find time for school, work, family, and friends, then by all means feel free to do it as a recreational activity. But beware. NDL |
| Q: | Why is andrew worried about me? |
| A: | Maybe you've been giving off some signals that something is up. Sit down and have a talk with him. NDL |
| Q: | WHEN IS THE NEXT TIME I WILL MAKE MONEY |
| A: | WHEN YOU MANAGE YOUR MONEY PROPERLY. NDL |
| Q: | if you wore shoes wate size would thy be ? |
| A: | Llamas can't wear human shoes, because they have hooves. NDL |
| Q: | Do Llamas like to drink coffee? |
| A: | NDL enjoys the occasional cappacino, but can only speak for himself. NDL |
| Q: | Should I say anything to matt about how muck I love hi, before he leaves? |
| A: | I would say, yes. You'll probably regret it muchly if you do not. NDL |
| Q: | How do I handle my best friend moving away? |
| A: | There's no real easy way to deal with a great friend moving away. Remember that you will always have the memories of being together and no one can ever take that away no matter what the distance. NDL |
| Q: | Where can I purchase a llama? |
| A: | Try looking up llama on google.com. Right above this very page in the search results you will find a llama buy and sell service. NDL |
| Q: | what will happen if one does not choose to frolic? |
| A: | Then they will have a life bereft of frolicking -- barren and empty. NDL |
| Q: | My Llama friends turned green, what should i do? |
| A: | Wash them thuroughly, I would suggest "Goop" or something. NDL |
| Q: | what is the meaning of life? |
| A: | To frolic like a llama. NDL |
| Q: | dear NDL my mom walked in on me while i was frolicing naked...i jumped in the bathroom and now she suspects i was doing \"something else\" what should i do? |
| A: | Just because I am naked doesn't mean you have to be. Nudity can be an awkward issue within the family. I would suggest being more discreet. NDL |
| Q: | Dear NDL, What would you recommend I do to personally thank your caretaker and his frolicing girlfriend for helping me move into my new apartment over the weekend? I\'m so grateful and would like to do something special. Sincerely, A true friend of NDL |
| A: | I would recommend importing very expensive and exquisite macadamia nuts from Hawaii. Though, the Llama Caretaker may never see them, should they arrive here before the caretaker gets home from work... NDL |
| Q: | 1. I weigh 144 lbs and i am 5\'4 i keep trying to loose weight but it doesnt work what should i do?? |
| A: | Eat lots of fruits and vegetables and exercise 3 times a week. I know it sounds simple, but sometimes the simplest things are the hardest to do. |
| Q: | am i stupid? |
| A: | Since there is no such thing as a stupid question, my answer is: no. NDL |
| Q: | My computer hates me. I hate my computer. It does not work...I am very angry. |
| A: | You might want to get Norton Systemworks, as this helps with these things. NDL |
| Q: | on the way to school every day, me and my friend always see the same old woman walking in the opposite direction. but the trouble is, she smiles at us every time she walks past, and we really dont like her, and get annoyed at her. what can we do to make her stop smiling? |
| A: | I don't think it's a good thing to make her stop smiling. You are probably a reminder of her youth, or youth in general, and older people really need that. If you can't say anything nice to her, don't say anything at all. NDL |
| Q: | do you have wool |
| A: | Yup! All llamas do. NDL |
| Q: | what is a llama a cross between? a camel and a...? |
| A: | It's a camel without humps, so to speak. For more information, check out Llamaweb NDL |
| Q: | when you frolic too long does the frolic steal your soul? |
| A: | "Frolic" itself does not steal, but some frolickers do. Frolic in moderation if you think those you frolic with are going to steal your soul -- or perhaps avoid them completely. NDL |
| Q: | What are better Gnus Or Yaks? |
| A: | Neither is better, though I like saying the word "Gnu" more than sayign the word "Yak." NDL |
| Q: | PLease answer me. I Have met the love of my life...but being un experienced ith women i have no idea how fast or how slow to take it....what should i do?.please help me oh great NDL |
| A: | If you don't know how to lead -- take her cues. If she doesn't know how to lead -- play it by ear, and establish your pace with each other. It's part of the joy of a relationship. NDL |
| Q: | Oh holy naked dancing lama, will i find a mate? |
| A: | Every llama has his day. NDL |
| Q: | Will i talk to Faraz soon? |
| A: | I would get a phone call and call Faraz. Dont' wait up for him. NDL |
| Q: | how can i lose 20 pounds in 10 weeks? |
| A: | Exercise, exercise, exercise -- and eat plenty of fruits and vegetables. Sounds simple? It is. But the easiest sounding asnwers can often be the hardest to do. NDL |
| Q: | Will i marry my curretn girlfriend? |
| A: | Close your eyes, open them, and immediately say either yes or no, whichever comes to your mind first. THere's your answer. NDL |
| Q: | How controversial does george bush find this website? |
| A: | To my knowledge, Bush has continued to decline NDL's requests for a formal debate. Does that indicate controversy? You decide. NDL |
| Q: | Will I make a good State Farm Agent? |
| A: | Good question. Perhaps you should get Good State Farm Agent Insurance just in case things dont work out. NDL |
| Q: | what would you do for a klondike bar? |
| A: | I would stand on my head. NDL |
| Q: | Should I go for Matt, Phil or Louis? |
| A: | Louis. NDL |
| Q: | How can I stop growing old, naked dancing llama? |
| A: | Volunteer for experimental programs coming around in 30 or 40 years, in which your DNA will be changed to that of a 20 year old. Barring funds for such an endeavor -- eat healthy, exercise, and be young on the inside. It will show on the outside. NDL |
| Q: | Should I love myself more? |
| A: | Definitely, but not to excess. NDL |
| Q: | how come...ugly people..are like really ugly..but pretty people..arnt ugly?? |
| A: |